napowrimo # 5
For the fifth prompt - we are to make poetry personal. Personify poetry - give it a name.
Come Out, Erato!
When I was a child,
you chose me.
You woke me in the darkest nights
to listen; in storms you led me to watch
trees dance and waves toil; you
pulled me from bed in the silence
before daybreak for birds’ greetings.
But what have you made me do
lately? Slacker!
Erato, Eratus, Eratum!
There, I’ve conjugated you,
deconstructed you.
Eratalgia – you’re a pain,
Eratosis – you’re a neurosis,
ad feminan Eratorium – you make
illogical excuses based on,
based on ...
Where was I?
Oh yes - what’s up with you?
Your whispers are ineffective
your demands common,
you’re easily deterred.
You've stopped wheedling me just because
I’m older. Coward!
What? How can you be tired?
You say you’re getting older, too?
Impossible. You’re immortal.
You say it’s all relative?
Well, Sister, get off your duff,
we’re going to lie down in a meadow
where bees buzz and flowers wink,
and watch clouds gather.
We’ll be young again.
Wanda McCollar
Come Out, Erato!
When I was a child,
you chose me.
You woke me in the darkest nights
to listen; in storms you led me to watch
trees dance and waves toil; you
pulled me from bed in the silence
before daybreak for birds’ greetings.
But what have you made me do
lately? Slacker!
Erato, Eratus, Eratum!
There, I’ve conjugated you,
deconstructed you.
Eratalgia – you’re a pain,
Eratosis – you’re a neurosis,
ad feminan Eratorium – you make
illogical excuses based on,
based on ...
Where was I?
Oh yes - what’s up with you?
Your whispers are ineffective
your demands common,
you’re easily deterred.
You've stopped wheedling me just because
I’m older. Coward!
What? How can you be tired?
You say you’re getting older, too?
Impossible. You’re immortal.
You say it’s all relative?
Well, Sister, get off your duff,
we’re going to lie down in a meadow
where bees buzz and flowers wink,
and watch clouds gather.
We’ll be young again.
Wanda McCollar
I really like your incorporation of nature in this poem. And you have a great title! I also like the image of "waves toil" in the first stanza. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteOh, Wanda! Superb. =)
ReplyDeleteFantastic and a with a sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteLove the use of every day jargon ie "slacker". There's a lot of the Mrs. McCollar I remember in the poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comments, they are greatly appreciated. I know how this challenge is cramping our time - I'm grateful you spent some of your precious time commenting on my poem.
ReplyDeletewanda, i agree w/yr coments at your rwp post... this is a beauty... i would love to watch clouds all day long again... file and forget
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I took the time to read your poem. Your voice is loud and clear.
ReplyDeleteI love the fire and energy in this :)
ReplyDeleteWanda,
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic just simply fantastic!
Pamela
Great job--very engaging!
ReplyDeleteYour wordplay's superb! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteNulli secunda Wanda!Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteLove this one.
ReplyDelete